First Performance

24th February, 1986
The Performance Space, Sydney
 
 

EMMA MAY		Jill Brown
TRISH		Anni Finsterer
ANNETTE		Anita Plateris

Directed by Steven Dawson
Stage Manager Renzo Bellato
Lighting Craig Neil & Angie Quick

Amateurs and Professionals are hereby warned that the performance of this play is subject to royalties and no public performance of this play or excerpts may be given in any form, including radio, film, television or stage without the written permission of the author and/or his agents and only upon application.

This play is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the author or his agent's prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

Any application for performance must be made to:

RICK RAFTOS MANAGEMENT PTY LTD
P.O. Box 445, Paddington
NSW, Australia, 2021
Telephone 61 2  9281 9622
Fax 61 2   9212 7100
raftos@raftos.com.au

Copyright ã 1986 Steven Dawson.

THE STAGE IS BARE EXCEPT FOR THREE CHAIRS AND A PIANO. THREE WOMEN ENTER AND STAND THROUGHOUT THE PROLOGUE. EMMA MAY IS DRESSED FROM THE EARLY 1920'S. ANNETTE IS FROM THE LATE FIFTIES AND TRISH IS IN MODERN CLOTHES.

THREE WOMEN

Three women each from a separate time
Three women locked in some private decline
Three women with little to share
Nothing but memories, hopes and despair

Three ladies waiting for love to go right
Each lady struggling with all of her might
Needing to find a good reason to laugh
Finding a way to get out of the past
Three women

Telling the story, awaking the soul
Finally seizing the chance that could make right their goal
Filling their dreams with a sense of desire
Hoping each moment will fill them with passionate fire
Three moments for women to cherish in life
Taking a chance; never backing down from a fight
Give her the dart when she's holding the flame
Pass her the arrow, she knows whose to blame
Three women

[SPOKEN]

EMMA MAY
Three women. All very brave; all very different.

ANNETTE
All of these women are Australian. All have been hurt, used, abused and tormented in different ways for as long as they can remember.

TRISH
They're no different from anyone else. They're not famous; they don't want to be martyrs. No....they just want to be themselves.

EMMA MAY
To be independent.

TRISH
Accepted.

ANNETTE
Respected.

TRISH
Content with themselves.

EMMA MAY
But where do you start?

ANNETTE
Where do you get the strength that's needed?

TRISH
Wanted.

EMMA MAY
Essential to your very existence.

ANNETTE
If it's not by your pillow.

EMMA MAY
Not under your bed.

TRISH
Not by your side....then where do you begin?
 

Three women making the lives they have last
Three women taking up thoughts from the past

Telling the story, awaking the soul
Finally seizing the chance that could make right their goal
Filling their dreams with a sense of desire
Hoping each moment will fill them with passionate fire
Three women
Three women
Three women

THE WOMEN MOVE TO VARIOUS PARTS OF THE STAGE EXCEPT EMMA MAY WHO STANDS CENTRE DRESSED IN A LARGE DIRTY SMOCK; HER SHOES COVERED IN MUD.

EMMA MAY
I'd moved up here from Sydney four years ago. They didn't want to know about me back then. I don't suppose they do now but back then it was much worse. I mean, it was a wonder they even let me near their children but they did, thank God. From the beginning, my God, you wouldn't have believed it. It took them a while to get over me.....or to be more accurate, they ignored me and THEN got over me. I don't really blame them. No, it was a bit much....me, a woman teacher come up from Sydney on her first assignment to Nyngan. Nyngan! Where the hell was that?! I remember getting the letter in the post on the Monday morning. I was desperate for a reply and I made sure I was there when Elsa brought in the mail tray before anyone had a chance to question me about it. I tell you I was so nervous. I ran upstairs almost knocking mother over as she was coming down. I muttered something, I don't know what, about being late for piano lessons or something and then I quickly locked the door just long enough to read the "we would like to offer you this position" before flying down once more out the door and down to the park to read the letter more fully. I was sitting on that park bench for I don't know how long with the letter in my hand just shaking all over. I couldn't tell them you see. Mother and father, that is. It would have been inconceivable to them. Here I was a young woman from a fairly well-respected family turning around and going off into the bush to teach God knows what to God knows who. No, they wouldn't have understood at all. I put off telling them for as long as possible. It was the Friday evening and I was due to depart on the following Sunday. I remember the scene very clearly. We were sitting around the table for dinner. Mother, father, my younger brother, Jack and, of course the youngest and favourite, Bob. My father was being boorish talking about the new labour movement which he insisted was being run by Bolsheviks. Jack, of course, was taking it all in and Bob was sending up father as usual in his own quiet way. I thought I'd wait for a lull in the conversation before making my announcement so it would hopefully have less impact. But of course I misread the situation and the silence that hit that room was unbelievable. You could have heard a pin drop. Unfortunately the pin took the form of several dessert dishes Elsa was holding at the time. My father roared into life. "Have you gone completely out of your mind!? Who gave you the right to do this behind my back? And what makes you think you could possibly teach anyone anything?" I tried to explain but it was no use. Father was determined but I also was not about to let him intimidate me either. Not this time. Mother said nothing but that was enough. Her stare was more than adequate. I could see the sense of betrayal in Bob's eyes. Though we had always been close this was the first time I had not considered any but my own feelings. Father stood and went to his study and that was the last I saw of him. He refused to come out of his room for the next two days. Mother kept bursting into tears....and Bob said very little. No-one in that house wanted to know my feelings but it was something I had to do. Something I had to do. I've heard that a lot. I left home on the Sunday evening as planned. I wanted to say goodbye but everyone had been avoiding me. All except Elsa who'd helped with packing and she said very little. When I arrived at the station I was about to board the train when a voice called out. I turned to see Bob and Elsa waving. He ran towards me and I felt my arms reach out to hold him. It was the first time I had ever seen him cry and I felt as though my heart would break. He kissed me hard on the cheek, pressed a note into my hand and stepped back as the train rolled out; their faces disappearing into the steamy distance. Finally I took my seat and prepared myself for the long journey ahead. I remembered the letter Bob had given me. It was from father. I thought that he had finally forgiven me but couldn't bring himself to admit it in front of anyone. But I was wrong. I read the note. "You will back. When you realise what a ridiculous idea this is, you will be back". I sat there numb without thinking but once my head had cleared I knew that I could never return. Not as the failure father had hoped. [PAUSE] So....here I was on my "great adventure". What wonderful words. And how much farther from the truth could I have strayed......My name is Emma May Heshan....a school teacher...and it is 1924.
 
 

FLYING BIRD

Catch a flying bird in your hand
Then watch it fly high across the land
The beauty of this bird
Who soars the heavens on a word
Let her fly high above the sand

The beauty of this dream lets you soar
Though from your world you're always asking more
Who has the right
To stop me from my flight
And why shouldn't I ask for more

And though no-one knows just where my flight will lead
If the spirit of adventure is a seed
Then from the soil I will grow
And from my spirit I will know
That a flower has come forth from the seed

ANNETTE SITS IN A CHAIR SPYING ON A YOUNG BOY WHO SITS AHEAD OF HER WITH AN OLD 50'S COPY OF WOMEN'S WEEKLY COVERING HER FACE. SHE IS DRESSED IN A SCHOOL UNIFORM AND CHEWING GUM. THE SOUND OF A TRAIN CAN BE HEARD.

ANNETTE
Are you watching me? Oh, please dear God, let him look at me just once. I ain't asking for much. [SHE SCREAMS AND PULLS THE MAGAZINE IN FRONT OF HER] Oh, my god! He looked! Oh, shit! Arrggggh! [SHE LOOKS AGAIN] He's turned away. Probably thinks I'm some sort or retarded kid or something. Some brain dead victim who likes to ride around on trains, that's what he's thinking. [SHE FEELS HER FOREHEAD] I think I'm cracking up. C'mon, Annette, get your act together or he'll never talk to you. Not that he's done much of that up until now. [THINKS] Maybe he can't talk. Maybe he's a mute. Can't talk. That would explain it. Ugh, just my luck. The first time I spot someone who's really nice and he ends up belonging to a special school or something. Oh, steady on, Annette. Maybe he just doesn't want to talk to you. Maybe we just don't have anything in common. [BITTER] That's okay. I can live with that. [SHE RIPS THE MAGAZINE] Oh, bloody hell. I've just ripped Frankie's head off. Control yourself, you idiot. I wonder if Frankie and Annette met this way.....on a train. Do they have trains in America? No, of course they don't. They all drive around in them big limo-mobiles or whatever they are. Hey, BOT, what kind of car do you drive? I bet it's all big and expensive looking, with fur dice on the rear view mirror and a top that rolls back so that our hair can blow in the breeze on a hot summer night as we cruise up and down Enmore Road. God, what a life. [BEAT] God, what a jerk. I think this train ride's affecting my brain. Ooops! He's turned around again. He stared at me! No doubt about it. We have a stare. This is it. Any minute now he's going to get up and walk over to me; bend down and kiss me deeply, passionately; right smacko on the old liperoonies. Any minute now he's gonna take me in his arms and beg me to be Mrs BOT.....any minute now...[BEAT] Any minute now the moon's gonna fall out of the sky and I'll be crowned Miss World! [THROWS THE MAGAZINE DOWN] I gotta stop reading this crap. Hang on a sec. Why am I getting myself worked up over this creep? We've been doing this for two years now and he hasn't said boo to me. All he ever does is stare. I'm sure Annette Funicello wouldn't stew about someone like this. I reckon she'd be cool about it. Let the boys come to her. That's what I'll do. Let them come to me. [STRIKES A POSE] Miss Cool, that's me [BEAT] Miss Moron, more like it. Maybe it's my hair. Maybe it's too weird for him.....but then again, maybe it doesn't matter to him. [DEEP VOICE] "It doesn't matter, Annette. I love you for your mind. I love you for your sparkling personality. For your inner beauty. It doesn't matter if you're plain. Who cares if you're overweight? [SCREAMS] OVERWEIGHT!? Arrggh! Oh, BOT, if only you knew the trouble I've had. The pain and suffering I've gone through to get skinny. But I can't help it. I love to eat. I go weak at the knees if I don't get enough. My hair falls out; my period gets screwed up. [BEAT] But you don't care, do you BOT? You'll still love me, won't you? Why can't I be like those girls on the cover of Harpers or Women's Weekly. Why can't I be like Cheryl in my gym class......the bitch! The only reason she's got Michael is because she does "it". But you don't want a girl like that do you, BOT. [UNSURE] Do you? Well, I suppose I could if you wanted me to. Do it, I mean. You wouldn't even have to marry me or anything. Well, not straight away. We could pretend. I could get Titsiana to be a pretend priest and everything. A little ceremony. When Mum and Dad are out, of course. They wouldn't understand. They're too old. We could be all romantic and stuff. Maybe one day we could even do it for real. With guests and presents and everything. I'd be in this beautiful white dress just like Mrs Giannini's daughter Maria's when she got married last week and I had to stay in cause I had a zit the size of a grapefruit. I'd be walking down the aisle. Mum would be crying; I'd be crying; the priest would be crying. We'd ALL be crying. Especially Dad cause he has to pay for it. Last time he had to buy me a dress he just about bled from the eyeballs. But you'd be standing there in your white suit with a big red carnation and I'd be so beautiful....and you'd tell me I was beautiful because you loved me... and that slut Cheryl would be so jealous because I had you; the most handsome man in Homebush Boys High School.....[SHE OPENS HER EYES] Oh, where's he gone? Oh, shit! I've missed me stop. Stop the train! STOP THE TRAIN!!!

WHY CAN'T IT BE BETTER

Isn't it typical, nothing goes right for me
Wanting to be perfect and happy, don't you agree
Wanting to be pretty, not too much to ask
Why is it slimming is such a task
For me

Why can't it be better, why can't the story end well
Where is my prince in this story I'm longing to tell
Why is it school is just one life long test
Why is my home life just one dreary mess
Why me?

Wanting to be pretty,
Wanting to be pretty right now
[Wanting to be, wanting to be, wanting to be pretty]
Putting on the right clothes,
Putting on the wrong weight and how
[Wanting to be, wanting to be, wanting to be pretty]
Why can't it be better why can't it be better for me
[Why can't she be pretty, why can't she be pretty like me
Why should I suffer, why can't it be better for me
[Why can't she be pretty, why can't she be pretty like me]

What sort of existence, what sort of life will I have
Drinking down love scenes, throwing up guilt in the lav
Wanting to be better than anyone here
Content with my waist size, no third hemisphere
Fat Free!

Wanting to be pretty,
Wanting to be pretty right now
[Wanting to be, wanting to be, wanting to be pretty]
Putting on the right clothes,
Putting on the wrong weight and how
[Wanting to be, wanting to be, wanting to be pretty]
Why can't it be better why can't it be better for me
[Why can't she be pretty, why can't she be pretty like me]
Why should I suffer, why can't it be better for me
[Why can't she be pretty, why can't she be pretty like me]
 
 

TRISH SITS AT A TABLE WITH A GLASS OF WINE AND A LIGHTED CIGARETTE IN AN ASHTRAY.

TRISH
I've been sitting in this grotty cafe in Glebe for 45 minutes now. He's always late but I don't mind. Well I do but at least it gives me time to come up with excuses on why I should dump him. And it gives me time to think. Oops. That's your trouble, Trish, honey, you think far too much. Ain't good for the grey cells. Or the relationships. Call me old fashioned but occasionally I like to think about me. Doesn't happen too often these days. Everyone's always worried about someone else. But not this little black duck. [LOOKS AROUND] I can still remember the first time I came into this dump. It was around 1969 and what a crummy year that was. I was studying English Lit. down the road. Well, maybe studying is not quite the right term. I was too busy smoking dope, going on marches; getting arrested. Don't it all sound corny. Oh, my God, help me. I'm trapped in a time warp. I wonder how I survived any of it. But I did. I moved into Redfern so I could walk to Uni. Well, really, I moved in because it was the cheapest place on the planet that didn't force me back to the olds and I just couldn't bare the thought of that. I was 19 and in my first year at Uni. That place was amazing. A lot of "really together people" trying to pretend they weren't just as fucked up as the rest of us. I was born in Fairfield. Mum was weak; dad was a drunk and to tell the truth, Fairfield was NOT the cosmopolitan mecca it is today. I reckon I was about 14 when I first fell in love with this 21 year old guy. God, if my family had found out, they would have killed me. We had this little fling that lasted about 6 months; which left us both nervous wrecks. Dad was drinking too much so I moved out of home and into a halfway house in Leichhardt at 15. Lots of old women constantly trying to palm me off on to their gay grandsons. I stayed there for about 18 months. Don't ask me why. Then I met Robert one day at the local pub. We used to see each other around a bit. He was a sales rep. for Email. You know.... fridges and freezers; all that. He was nice to begin with. Not exactly a romantic courtship. He asked me to marry him half way through The Wild Bunch at the Savoy. I just sat there with my mouth half open and full of popcorn. I was thinking "Well, it ain't the way you were expecting but say yes, idiot before he gets his mind back" so I said "yeth" through the popcorn and we got married in a very, very, VERY stylish wedding....at the Sydney Registrar's Office. This was obviously a class act. And from the moment pen touched paper, the rot set in.

MARRIED

What have I done
I must have been crazy to do such a stupid thing as this
I was so young
What the hell did I know about marriage
I'm "married"
What a remarkable word
Married!
What a sentence for life

Stupid mistake
Can't make up my mind if it's good for me
Falling in love
What a ridiculous word for confinement
But marriage
Could be the best of it all
Married
Who cares if I don't love him

Take me away from this terrible life
I don't need your love anymore
When marriage is magic, I'll walk out that door
I know I'll lock up that door
 

Throw me line
I'm abandoning a sinking ship called marriage
Throw me a buoy
Just any old boy will do
That's marriage
It's a miserable world
Married
What a sentence for life
 

EMMA MAY ENTERS AS TRISH RETURNS TO HER TABLE AND READS A MAGAZINE.

EMMA MAY
What can I say except that it was very long journey. I don't think I slept at all for the entire trip. I must have looked slightly worse for wear when I stepped off the train. [SMILES] First impressions of Nyngan? Well, before I go any further I should point out that when I sent off that application I had inadvertently omitted one slight detail. I had signed the application, E.M. Heshan. For some reason or other I suspect they were expecting something a little more masculine. In the reply I was informed I would be met by a Mr Davis. The name, just like Nyngan, conjured up certain images, all of which were pretty far off. Mr Davis turned out to be a young gentleman not much older than myself. I looked straight at him but for some reason he walked right past me as I was about to extend my hand and my luggage. It was only when the train has long departed that he turned towards me with a puzzled look on his face. He came towards me. "Are you the school teacha?" When I explained that I was indeed the "school teacha", my answer seemed to delight him in no uncertain terms. He picked up my bags and darted off in the direction of an old sulky with myself in close pursuit. As I stepped into the sulky I enquired as to where I would be accommodated. "In the school house" came his cryptic reply. "Oh", I said, "and where is that?" not wanting to appear vague. "Oh, just down that road a'piece." That was it. End of conversation. By the way, later I was to learn that when a particular location was "just down the road a'piece" you could usually ascertain it to be at least 20 miles in any direction. Well, we got to the school house which was on the edge of the Davis property who happened to be the "biggest landowners this side of Dubbo." This school house itself was an old tram. How they got it all the way out to Nyngan, I'll never know. Mr Davis informed me that this was also to double as my home. The man before me had found it perfectly to his liking, apparently. His liking for the accommodation obviously did not extend to his tenure in this remote town. I was slightly taken aback by that revelation but back then I was ready to accept almost anything. I was new to the game. The school room was, for all intents and purposes, a dump. But pretty soon I had it looking almost respectable. On the first day, Mr Davis informed me that I should call on the house which for landowners was quite modest in size but what it lacked in earthly dimensions it surely made up for in total contempt for outsiders.

LIGHT FADES ON EMMA MAY AND COMES UP ON ANNETTE WRITING IN A SCHOOL COMPOSITION BOOK.

ANNETTE
Essay on being "Annette". Well, actually my name isn't really Annette. It's Lucretia Marie, but shit, who wants to go through life with a name that sounds like you wanted strangle somebody's cat, for chrissakes. No-one calls me Lucretia except my family and relatives. Sometimes Titsiana does like when we're fighting or something so I call her jugs. You know, as in tits. As in Titsiana. Oh forget it. Anyway, no-one calls me Lucretia. If you're wondering why Annette it's after Annette Funicello. You know, the movie star? But you probably got that already. She was in that beach party movie with Frankie Avalon. What a honey, he is. So dreamy. What a hunk! Oh, sorry. I'll probably start drooling in a minute. Anyway, that's who I'd like to be. Annette...not Frankie. She's got everything. Cars, furs, indoor golf course; the lot. And she's got Frankie, which is the biggest plus in my book. I didn't tell you. I saw Muscle Beach seven times...in one week. If dad had found out he would've killed me for wasting money but I couldn't help it. I just loved that movie so much. [BEAT] Shit. Why do I have to live in Stanmore? Nothing ever happens here. Except when Mr Giannini beats his family up. It's always good for a laugh because he's so fat he can't catch any of 'em. [STOPS] Speaking of which, you probably noticed I'm slightly pre-occupied with my physical dimensions as well. Actually, I'm surrounded by them if you know what I mean. God, it's depressing. The trouble is, it's not glandular or anything. I wish it was. I just like to eat. I blame my parents, of course. I reckon they thought the only way to keep me happy was to keep me....rotund. When the rest of my family complained about how big I was my mum kept sneaking little snacks into my room. My brothers and sisters tried getting me to exercise. You can keep that! Mum kept saying to everyone "Oh, she's beautiful. Is just puppy's fat." But you show me a kid with 6 stone of puppy fat and I'll show you a hippo in a tutu! And the worst part of it is no-one ever lets you forget it. If there's something wrong with you, you can always depend on some rotten kid in a pram to scream out "Mummy, look at the blimp with legs. What's wrong with her!" [SNEARS]

LIGHTS COME UP ON TRISH.

TRISH
So here I was on my way to a beautiful honeymoon cruise to Bali. Can't say the weather was kind. We kept on throwing up on each other. Well, it felt like it, anyway. And though I was ready to share many things with Robert, half-digested breakfasts were not amongst them. We started fighting three days into the cruise and it went down hill from there on. Why is it that the moment you spend a bit of extended time with the person you love they turn into selfish bastards with all the charisma of a stone fish?! When I could raise my head out of the loo long enough to take a look on deck I was dragged into one of those stunning costume parades that cruise lines foist upon us poor unsuspecting slobs who don't have enough sense to stay on solid ground. Then Robert got the shits with me for talking to a steward. He was only telling me how his girlfriend had just left him and his boyfriend wanted to move in. Very liberating. Very seventies. But Robert already had it in his head that I was humping the entire cabin crew in the first available lifeboat. He slipped into his jerko phase, got pissed and beat me up on the last night before we arrived home. I decided there and then that I wasn't ready to commit myself to a life of misery. I'd managed that myself up until now and I could do it well enough without anyone's help. So, once I got my luggage off the ship, I told Robert I had to got to the loo and jumped into the first taxi that would take me to a women's shelter, which in those days doubled as a bus shelter. I moved around for a little while staying with friends and tried to think of an answer to the age-old and eternal "What the fuck am I gonna do now?"
 
 

EYE OF THE STORM

ANNETTE
Stop the rain and stop the world
Give my life half a chance
I'm a novice at learning this new dance
Stop the night and hold the day
I feel this dance is too long
I've got the feeling it's turning out all wrong

Into the eye of the storm
Like a blaze of light I seem to be shooting forth
But if I could choose my life all over again
I'd take the eye of the storm in my hand

Can't you feel the rain
Tell me what do you feel
Are you telling me now this isn't real
Don't come near me; I will be brave
Who says that I need my friends
You always stand alone in the end

But there's still this girl who stands all alone
Without company or some place to call home
I guess that I've had my time and my friends are all gone
But I will wait till the next storm comes along

MUSIC CONTINUES OVER THE REST OF TRISH'S MONOLOGUE

TRISH
So....on with a new life, huh. I saved some money and managed to get enrolled into the Uni course. That was after working my guts out in Woolworths for two years. Jesus...what a dead end job. At Uni I was just beginning to get a handle on things. And for a while things were really interesting. Well, the interesting part was having an affair with one of my lecturers. His name was David.

EMMA MAY
Did he love you?

TRISH
What?

MUSIC STOPS

EMMA MAY
Did he love you?

TRISH
What does that matter?

EMMA MAY
I would think it would matter a whole lot.

TRISH
To you, maybe.

EMMA MAY
But....don't you care.

TRISH
[Angry] Of course I care! I cared enough to have two abortions for him. That's how much I cared.

ANNETTE
What?

TRISH
Oh, shit.

EMMA MAY
You had two abortions? Why?

TRISH
I don't remember having much choice in the matter. Look...it doesn't matter.

EMMA MAY
I don't understand.

TRISH
And where is it written that you have to?

EMMA MAY
Nowhere. It's just that...you've killed a living thing.

TRISH
Oh, God. Not one of those.

EMMA MAY
I'm sorry. I just don't think it's right.

TRISH
Oh boy. That's a laugh coming from you.

EMMA MAY
What do you mean?

TRISH
Well, your road to glory hasn't exactly been one of discretion either, has it?

EMMA MAY
There's a difference.

TRISH
That's what I'm saying. It was a different time for you. Your lot didn't go to bed until the rings were on the fingers and the bouquets had been thrown. In the late sixties nothing much mattered. You got pregnant; you didn't want it, you got rid of it. It was that simple. Free love and all that. You did what you wanted with your body. Abortion, drugs...it was different.

EMMA MAY
You talk as if nothing mattered to you.

TRISH
Well, they didn't. Not then. Besides....

ANNETTE
What?

TRISH
I...couldn't...anyway.

ANNETTE
Couldn't what?

TRISH
Couldn't have them.

EMMA MAY
But why not?

TRISH
He didn't want them.

EMMA MAY
But did you?

TRISH
I....I don't remember. It was a long time ago. [PAUSE] The first time it was okay. Just an accident. But the second time....he hit me, you know. Said I was doing it just to tie him down. Make a commitment. He didn't want that. Not with me.

EMMA MAY
But did you?

TRISH
I don't remember...I....yes.

ANNETTE
You loved him.

TRISH
Uh-huh.

EMMA MAY
What did you do?

TRISH
What could I do? I didn't have all the answers. What do you say to someone you fall in love with and they turn around and push your face into the wall? I was looking forward so much to telling him....but...I guess he caught ME by surprise, didn't he. But I wanted it so much...so much.
 

ONLY HAD ONE LOVE

I wonder if you'll be the same again
The way you were before you went away
How can I tell while there's that strange look in you eyes
How do I know just what to say

Are you the person that I loved before
Does time make lovers slip away
Who makes up these rules that turn us out to look like fools
Or are these imagined things I say

I've only had one love
One lover that I keep dreaming of
And it's you
You're the only one I ever want to hold
Want to hold
In my arms

Don't think that I will play the victim
Don't think that you've got the upper hand
I might seem weaker than I've ever been before
But I'm not your slave to command

Please forgive me if I feel ill at ease
These words aren't really the way I feel
My defences are down,
My words don't sound the way I mean them to
But how do I show you what is real [when]

I've only had one love
One lover that I keep dreaming of
And it's you
You're the only one I ever want to hold
Want to hold
In my arms
 

EMMA MAY
After three weeks living in Nyngan I was beginning to think that everything I knew about education would be of little use to the children. Well, the ten I had to teach, anyway. Oh, they were fine but it's just that they didn't really have much use for anything other than basic reading and writing. Their parents were ever willing to point this out. "What's the good of all that geography business. They ain't goin' nowhere." I was inclined to agree with them. We were all of us going nowhere. The children would end up on the land just like their fathers before them. It was expected of them. But what was expected of me? Well, my job was to keep my place....as a woman. Not a peep shall be heard. It certainly wasn't easy getting people to like me if ever they did but their indifference wasn't enough to get me to use my last five pounds in savings on that train ticket home to disgrace, either. I taught the children what I could.....and I learnt a few things myself. Such as how to crotch a sheep. Not a pretty sight. And how not to accept small gifts from smiling boys without first checking to see if it's full of rocks.

ANNETTE
I've decided to go on a diet....no, this time for real. I don't think I can go through life being called any more names. Besides, whoever it was that said boys like big girls who are cuddly must have been one hell of a porker! And if the day comes when BOT decides to stop staring and asks to marry me, I want him to be able to carry me over the threshold...without the use of a front end loader. Speaking of which, there have been some dark clouds on the horizon, lately. Cheryl...you know, the bitch... well she's been getting on my train lately in the afternoon 'cause she's staying in the city and now she's taken an interest in BOT...of the sexual kind, you know? It's be just like her to steal my man....er.. boy. What am I talking about. He hasn't even spoken to me yet. Maybe sluts aren't his type. I better tell Cheryl. Don't want her to be disappointed, huh! So, first things first. Lots to do. Number one...no more late night, early morning, mid morning or mid afternoon snacks. Just three normal sized meals a day....for a week. I don't want to overdo it. Number two, wear vertical stripes more. Number three, stop eating paddle pops between classes. Oh, god. Number four. Borrow Titsiana's brother Nick's bullworker. My boobs are looking like saddle bags..

TRISH
Look, honey, why bother? It's not worth it.

ANNETTE
Why not?

TRISH
You'll find guys like BOT always go for the Cheryls of this world because they don't anyone that can think for themselves. They don't want relationships.

ANNETTE
I think you're wrong. BOT's not like that. He wants someone he can love no matter how big or unattractive.

TRISH
You really believe that?

ANNETTE
I have to. It's all I've got.

TRISH
Then you're living in some kind of dream. You'll never survive.

ANNETTE
I don't care about that. I just want this....now.

TRISH
The Cheryls of this world are gonna walk all over you and you're gonna end up all alone because...

ANNETTE
What?

TRISH
Because you care too much.

ANNETTE
But I thought...

TRISH
Don't think. It'll just break your heart. Live...that's enough. You're still young. Life hasn't even started being a bitch yet. Cheryl will be an angel in comparison. You're just wasting your dreams.

ANNETTE
They're all I have. [CRYING] They're all I have.

EMMA MAY
It's alright, honey. Let them fall. They won't be there later when you need them, anyway. [TO TRISH] Why do you do this? What have you got to be bitter about?

TRISH
Just my whole life, for starters.

EMMA MAY
You were young once. It was important to be pretty. To look nice....for someone.

TRISH
Who's gonna notice? After a while everything fades. Looks, relationships, even memories.

EMMA MAY
And that's why it's important now. So what if things change. If everything turns sour, well, that's just the way it is. But what matters is now....to live.

WHISPER

ANNETTE

Whisper
If you want me
Say it softly in my ear
Just whisper
It's so easy
That's all I need to hear

You're just the sort of person I need near me
Someone who changes my world
Whisper
When you want me
That's all I need to hear

Touch me
Hold me briefly
Let your hand fall to my face
And kiss me
Kiss me slowly
And lift me into a different place

You're just the sort of person I need near me
Someone who changes my world
I'm right here beside you don't ever go away
I'm right here beside you don't ever go away
I'm right here beside you don't ever go away

Tell me
You love me
That's all I need to hear
 
 

EMMA MAY
"Dear Bob. Is seems so long since I last wrote to but I want you to know that I have been thinking about you and home....and mother and father. A lot of things have happened, I scarcely know where to begin. First things first. I am getting married...."

ANNETTE
What?!

EMMA MAY
To a Mr Davis. On the property. I've talked of him before. In any case, he's asked me to be his wife.

TRISH
That's not true.

ANNETTE
What?

EMMA MAY
"To be his wife and....I've accepted his proposal."

ANNETTE
I knew it would happen.

TRISH
Right.

EMMA MAY
"It seems rather strange writing but telling you in person is just out of the question at present. Perhaps one day soon I'll be able to see you all again. Right now there are so many things to do."

TRISH
Why don't you tell him?

EMMA MAY
I can't....he wouldn't understand. "Bobby, I just wanted to tell you because I know you'll understand if anyone will. I had to do this, you see....I'm tired of being alone.....on the outside.....and....I miss you all, terribly. Please try to understand... Emma."

TRISH
You're being ridiculous. Why are you going through with this? You're carrying on like some starry-eyed kid.

ANNETTE
Thanks.

EMMA MAY
It's not as simple as that!

TRISH
Then what is it?

EMMA MAY
I...uh...can't explain.

TRISH
Ah. I just love a mystery.

EMMA MAY
I don't have to explain anything....not to you.

TRISH
But I thought that was the purpose of this little get together.

EMMA MAY
There are some things....

TRISH
What?

EMMA MAY
Nothing.

TRISH
Then why did you through with it? Unless of course, you were.....Oh.....now I get it.

ANNETTE
She was gonna have a baby.

TRISH
You catch on quick, kid.

EMMA MAY
Er...yes.

ANNETTE
But I thought...

TRISH
You think too much sometimes.

ANNETTE
But how? I mean....I know how but....why?

EMMA MAY
You mean why me? I don't know. I thought...I thought maybe he would be the one. It was just something that happened. It was at a dance.. I'd been in Nyngan for just over a year. There was this dance. One of the local dances and Mr Davis was there...he looked so handsome.

ANNETTE
Is this the same Mr Davis...the one that picked you up at the station?

EMMA MAY
I saw quite a bit of him around the school yard. I'd look out the window and there he'd be...working with his brothers. And he'd occasionally call in after school. He always had his shirt off.

TRISH
Oh my...don't tell me you thought about those sorts of things?

EMMA MAY
There's a lot of things you don't know about me. Anyway, he was at the dance, staring. He was always staring. Finally he came over to where I was standing and asked me to dance. I tried to be calm but....

TRISH
Oh. A real cloud nine job, huh?

EMMA MAY
I suppose you could put it like that. We had a wonderful evening and he kissed me goodnight. So tender. After that his visits became more frequent. Little visits. I guess I...fell in love. Isn't that funny. It was the last thing on my mind when I had arrived... but it happened....and I guess I let my guard down. I hoped he was, you know, feeling the same way...as I was.

ANNETTE
I think it's romantic.

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON IN THE WORLD

EMMA MAY

I wish there were words
Words that I could say
That get inside of you
Find their way to your heart
Someway to touch
The corner of your soul
That blinding light
That love that's burning bright
You're the most beautiful
Person in my life
And in the world

It's the reason I'm with you
Your lips pressed close to mine
My body trembling
Whenever I feel your touch
I want to spend
The rest
The rest of my life
And I know that's dreaming
But at the moment that's how I feel
And I live for that
Moment in the dark
When I'm with the most beautiful
Person in my life
And in the world

MUSIC CONTINUES

EMMA MAY
So now you know.

TRISH
Tell us the rest of it.

ANNETTE
What rest of it?

EMMA MAY
He didn't want to marry me.

ANNETTE
Why not?

EMMA MAY
I suppose it was because he didn't love me.

ANNETTE
But you had his baby.

TRISH
That was the only reason he went through with it. That and because his parents forced him.

ANNETTE
Is that true?

EMMA MAY
They couldn't get me to go back to Sydney so rather than have a scandal drag their name through the mud....

TRISH
They decided to make an honest woman of you.

EMMA SINGS MORE DESPARATELY

REPRISE

It's the reason I'm with you
Your lips pressed close to mine
My body trembling
Whenever I feel your touch
I want to spend
The rest
The rest of my life
And I know that's dreaming
But at the moment that's how I feel
And I live for that
Moment in the dark
When I'm with the most beautiful
Person in my life
And in the world
 
 

ANNETTE
Well, it's happened. Cheryl...you know, the bitch, well she was seen with BOT at the movies. My ex-friend Titsiana said she saw them in the back row at a late screening of Muscle Beach. Can you believe that?! That was suppose to be OUR movie...if he'd ever asked me. The bastards! Oh, the reason Titsiana is now my ex-friend is because she waited a whole two days to tell me about it. Some friend! Who cares. They were all creeps, anyway. Cheryl, BOT....the lot of them. Besides there's other things on my mind now to worry about. There's this new boy with braces on his teeth who keeps following me and shit is he a geck! Everywhere I go he seems to pop up out of nowhere, grinning like an idiot with a mouth full of metal. Ugh! It's so embarrassing. And I'm beginning to think I'm the only sane person in my whole family. Mum won't talk to dad, the dog keeps chewing the posters off my wall and my brother keeps wearing my blonde wig without even asking me....that can't be right, can it.. Oh, by the way...I didn't tell you. I've lost three pounds! Look out, Cheryl. Your days are numbered.

TRISH
So after Uni had finished I went to Europe where all ex-students go, right? I just travelled around; worked as a waitress and all that to pay my way home and came back to Sydney to start over again, which is a lot easier said than done.

EMMA MAY
I watched him change. It started from the first week after we were married. The ceremony was a farce. No-one came. Not even the Davis family. It would have been nice to have had someone there but he didn't want anyone there at all. We lived in a small shack on the edge of the Davis property. His mother couldn't allow her son to stray too far from the nest. She was hoping he'd go back a little sooner than we thought. Myself included. But he surprised us all. Six months after the twins were born...

TRISH
A year after they'd been married he left her for good.

ANNETTE
No word to the family...

EMMA MAY
Nothing.

TRISH
He did leave his savings though, which was something. Three hundred pounds.

ANNETTE
For the children.

EMMA MAY
It was something. It was the first time he'd shown any sort of concern for them ever since they were born. I'm sure he wanted to but his drinking and his feelings towards me for "ruining his life" kept him at a distance from all of us. He rarely came home. Stayed out all night sometimes.

TRISH
Why did you put up with it?

EMMA MAY
What choice did I have?

ANNETTE
You bought a home.

EMMA MAY
Out of the savings. Much better than the last one.

TRISH
Something for the children.

ANNETTE
And the Davis family?

EMMA MAY
Wanted me to leave. Everybody did. Go Back to Sydney!

TRISH
No place for a woman.

ANNETTE
On her own.

TRISH
Think of the children.

EMMA MAY
Don't be so stubborn.

TRISH
You don't belong here.

EMMA MAY
Never will.

TRISH
Don't belong in Sydney.

EMMA MAY
I can't go back like this.

ANNETTE
What did you do?

EMMA MAY
I....stayed. It was after....I don't remember.

TRISH
Yes you do.

EMMA MAY
No I don't. It was my....

ANNETTE
What?

EMMA MAY
Baby....my baby. One of them....he was sick...I...er ..

TRISH
Thought it was a cold.

EMMA MAY
Just a cold....I thought it was....

TRISH
Pneumonia.

EMMA MAY
He was so little....I didn't know.

ANNETTE
She had to bury him.

EMMA MAY
Myself. No-one could come.

ANNETTE
Everyone blamed her.

MUSIC STARTS TO BECOME PULSATING AND HEAVY

EMMA MAY
[ANGRY] Blamed me!...he was so little...so little.

TRISH
Told you to leave.

ANNETTE
You'll lose the other one.

TRISH
Go home!

EMMA MAY
No.

ANNETTE
Go home!

EMMA MAY
[SCREAMS] No!

SHE ATTEMPTS TO SING A REPRISE OF FLYING BIRD BUT THE MUSIC DROWNS HER OUT. SHE EXITS IN TEARS.

ANNETTE
It's practically killing me but I've finally gotten the weight down. How I did it I'll never know. But now that it's happened I'm making the most of it. You remember BOT? Well he and Cheryl have broken up. Apparently Michael; Cheryl's ex, threatened to force feed BOT his schoolbag....and not through the mouth either. Sounds pretty athletic to me. So things are back to normal...whatever that is. The family's still crazy; my brother's borrowing my clothes and BOT's still staring at me. But this time I'm not too sure I gonna put myself through all that crap again. Maybe you're right. Why should I work myself up over someone who hasn't got the brains to latch on to something good staring them right in the face?

TRISH
That's the spirit, honey! Me....well now I've got this job in advertising. At last something with a bit of security, huh? It may be boring but security isn't something I've had in too much abundance.

ANNETTE
No, I'm gonna play it cool for a while. It's really funny, you know. Lose two stone and all of a sudden people look at you different. Well, boys anyway. But I can wait. I got plenty of time right?

TRISH
Plenty of time. When I came back from Europe I moved into a place in Chippendale with a few gay ladies. I didn't plan it that way or anything. It just happened like that but I wasn't fazed at all. They were a bit extreme though. I don't remember ever seeing a man enter that place. That was where I met Jane. We had an affair that lasted over six years. The longest relationship I've ever had. I thought I'd gotten my head together enough to handle any relationship, gay or straight. Well, I was fine but it turns out she left ME! Said she couldn't breathe. Now where have I heard that before?

TAKING THAT RIDE FOR THE LAST TIME

I'm taking that ride for the last time
I'm taking my time and sweeping the air
With a wave of my hand
It's a gesture so grand
I'm taking that ride for the last time

I'm feeling that loss for the first time
Though it seems I've been down that road before
Where it all fell apart
How it's breaking my heart
I'm feeling that loss for the first time

Still falls the rain
And it's washing the pain
And feelings I held for you
Falls the rain
Though time is no friend
It has seen us to the end
These feelings will follow you
They're following you

INSTRUMENTAL

Still falls the rain
And it's washing the pain
And feelings I held for you
Falls the rain
Though time is no friend
It has seen us to the end
These feelings will follow you
They're following you

I'm taking that ride for the last time
I'm taking one last look at home
And though this is the end
I've got myself for a friend
I'm taking that ride for the last time
I'm taking that ride for the last time

MUSIC CONTINUES OVER

EMMA RE-ENTERS DRESSED IN TRAVELLING CLOTHES AND CARRYING A SUITCASE WHICH SHE PUTS DOWN.

EMMA MAY
I've decided to go back to Sydney. No, not like that. I'm going for a visit. I got a letter, you see. From Mother and Father. They must have found out what has been happening to me since I saw them last. I know what to expect but I still think I'll be alright. You see I'm coming back. To Nyngan. To live for good. I guess it's a case of if you can't beat them, join them. But from now on nothing is going to put me off...nothing.

ANNETTE
You know...I don't think I'll stay on my diet either. I mean, why should I? I'm tired worrying about how I look to everyone. Am I too fat. Is my hair right. I don't think that's so important anymore. There are other things....

EMMA MAY
Other things. Yes.

ANNETTE
I think I was a better person before. Now there are all these people watching me. Not just BOT but a whole lot of others and if they're all wondering what's wrong with her or what's right with her, well that's their problem right? Maybe I've been doing it too much as well. I think the Cheryls of this world have a lot more problems than they let on.

TRISH
You see, I'm 35 now which once upon a time used to worry me but now it doesn't. There's no need. The people I cared about and loved; well, they're taking care of themselves and now I think it's my turn. To take care of myself.

EMMA MAY
Take care of myself.

TRISH
And I figure, myself is a pretty good place to be.

ANNETTE
Not Annette Funicello.

TRISH
Not someone's mistress.

EMMA MAY
Not someone's wife.

TRISH
I won't dismiss lovers, though. I may be enlightened but I'm not crazy.

EMMA MAY
And not someone who can be bullied.

ANNETTE
Or abused.

TRISH
Alone.

ANNETTE
Forgotten.

EMMA MAY
Just someone who can see the past...

ANNETTE
Live in the present....

TRISH
But look to future. Because that's all we have.

ANNETTE
And we've got plenty of time.

EMMA MAY
No hurry.

TRISH
And now I think we understand each other.

EMMA MAY
My name is Emma May. A school teacher and mother...and I'm staying right here.

ANNETTE
My name is Lucretia Marie. The geck is still following me; BOT is still staring and I have a date with Michael...well....what's wrong with that?

TRISH
And I'm Trish. I'm 35; my life hasn't always been wonderful, but it can only get better. I really believe that....and right now that's enough for me.

ROOM WITH A VIEW

All I want
Is a room with a view
And all I need
Is to see the sky's still blue
It doesn't matter if my world's falling apart
I don't care if you're breaking my heart
Just as long as I can do
Without you

Close all the doors
To that room with a view
Open the skylight
And hope that stars will fall through
It doesn't matter if the rains pouring in
I don't care if I'm soaked to the skin
Just as long as I can do
Without you

And when the sun comes out
In that room with a view
I'll come out of my hiding place
And I'll know just what to do
I'll rip off that mask that I'm hiding behind
That's made me feel so helpless and blind
And when I do I know what I'll find that's true
In that room with a view
My own room with a view
In my room with a view
 
 
 
 

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